Fatigue

Sometimes I feel guilty for complaining when some are so much worse off than me however this is my story. I used to work full time as a nurse and on my days off I could garden from morning to night and only stop because it was too dark to see anymore. Gardening is my passion and my way to recharge. Now I can maybe garden for 2 hours at the most and when I’m done I am so short of breath I can’t even speak till I rest for at least 15 minutes. Since I don’t hear many here speak of shortness of breath I thought maybe it was a heart issue so I requested an echo which was fine. I thought maybe it was deconditioning but I try to do as much as I can every day and it doesn’t get better. I used to fall asleep driving home from work so I was finally put on nuvigil which helps and I am no longer working. I never feel like I have any energy. When my neurologist asks me if the nuvigil is working this is what I can tell her. I still never feel like I have energy but if I would happen to forget to take my nuvigil I am utterly useless to the point where I just need to lay down. That is when I realize that I forgot my pill and why I feel like this. So yes I guess it’s working because without it you might as well just bury me. I don't mean to sound morbid or depressed cause I’m really not but I don’t know how I would even function without that pill which is really expensive and insurance won’t cover because “It’s not for MS fatigue” It’s really annoying when someone says “You just need to get more sleep” because it doesn’t matter how much I sleep, that doesn’t improve it. I feel guilty because I can only do 1/8th of what I used to so my husband picks up all the slack, and if I overdo it too much I will pay for it with no energy the next day. That’s a small piece of my story. Thanks for listening.