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Advice/Support

My hubby got diagnosed in 2012 with RRMS now having ocrevus infusions. We have been together 20 yrs got 2 children 11 and 18. But lately I’m feeling more like a carer than a wife. We went away recently just in a caravan and spent more time pushing him around and trying not to make him feel left out. We have no intimate time together. He gets tired easily had to give up his job due to his health. Loss his parents 2 yrs ago a month apart from each other. He will be 50 in dec and I’m making plans to go to Iceland but feel he won’t enjoy the trip due to not getting to the toilet in time or some other reason. Any helpful advice?

  1. I'm so glad that you're part of this community and raised such an important and valid concern. MS isn't easy on those of us living with it firsthand, or the caregivers. They key is to stay in community (like you're doing here) so nobody is going through it alone. We actually have a caregiver section on the site that you might find really helpful. Here's a link for you to check out. https://multiplesclerosis.net/caregiver

    Wishing you all the best,
    Alene, Moderator

    1. Wow- this is tough. It sounds like you’re carrying a heavy emotional load, and it's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed. I really hate this for the both of you because I know intimately you both want to be there for each other, but physically he is controlled by his condition and can't give you what you need. First, it’s important to acknowledge your feelings; it’s okay to miss the intimacy and connection you once had. Regarding the trip to Iceland, communication is key. Have an open conversation with him about your plans and concerns. He might surprise you with his willingness to enjoy the experience, even if it looks a bit different than you envisioned. Planning accommodations that are accessible and ensuring you have a flexible itinerary might help ease your worries about logistics. The trip could be a wonderful way for both of you to recharge and experience something new, even if it means adapting to his needs along the way. Taking care of your own well-being is vital for both you and your husband. You deserve to feel supported and to nurture your own needs, too. own needs, too. I really hope things work out for you both. Stay encouraged and keep us updated! All the best, Latoya (Team Member)

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