All Is Not As It Seems

I have had a number of very wonderful relationships with men and women. Being in my late 70s and 80s, that is easy enough to accomplish throughout the years...

Few were of the "love" variety as in sweetheart, gifts of flowers but all were significant and meaningful and remain so.

Met a man online

Then (pregnant pause) I met a man online who was living on the floor of a firehouse. He was trained as an engineer. I never anticipated he might have mental issues as he was very erudite in areas beyond engineering where I had interests. He knew much about history, art, politics, and had had a number of significant relationships lasting a number of years. He was also in his 70's.

Invited him to share my home

I did go to meet him on a number of occasions and found him charming and bright. Though I was not interested in marrying anyone, I was interested in having a pleasant relationship with a nice, pleasant, and smart man. After a year of on and off meetings, I invited him to share my home. The understanding was he would remain an autonomous personality just helping with the normal bills, housekeeping, etc.

A terrible mistake

What a terrible mistake that was. He is a grifter. I kept lists of his promises which he has followed through on not one including paying me back for my buying containers for him to keep his "things" in or anything else he needed according to his lists.

After 5 years of trying to help him with loans from me he fervently said he would repay, I find myself unable to use my "gone" money to help me with my MS. AS time went on it became clear he is a high functioning autistic with the additional problem of Asperger Syndrome. He continues to be charming and apparently erudite as he hoards the junk, mostly metal, he collects and stacks around my yard and in my house.

Progressed to SPMS

Now my MS is Secondary Progressive (it has taken years to develop) and I have significant disabilities and he helps me with NONE of the housekeeping, cooking, paying of bills, washing – he does wash his own clothes when he has nothing to wear otherwise he just piles all dirty clothes up, etc. He washes dishes when it suits him. He keeps nothing clean.

Deep despair

The SPMS continues on unabated and I find myself entering ever more deeply into despair not knowing what recourse I must take.

He has never bought his own car or house and now he wants my home and possibly my truck – an old beat up Tundra.

At a loss

Since this is all of my own problems... he rarely lies, he just doesn't do anything close to his share and he pays for very, very little (the occasional grocery shopping), I am at a loss about how I can handle this.

I am very tempted to leave all this without notice while I can still drive after giving my daughter the family heirlooms. I certainly do not need them.

What do you think?