My Real Life Horror Story

Being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis has been the most terrifying experience of my entire life.

My name is Samantha and I am fifteen years old.  January of 2014 is when it all went wrong. The week coming back to school from winter break is when I really started to notice. I'm right handed and could hardly hold my pencil up straight. "I probably just have to get used to writing again," I thought to myself. Another day went by. My English teacher had us writing a timed essay. "I can do that," I thought. I barely got to paragraphs written down in a whole hour.

I went home that day and told my parents my hand was numb, even though the feeling wasn't as if it were numb, but tingly and impossible to use. My mom told me to see if it would go away by tomorrow. When it progressively got worse, we went to my pediatrician. After the one MRI, doctors knew something was wrong. Seeing specialist after specialist they finally came to a conclusion. I have multiple sclerosis. The only thing coming to my mind is "why me?" It doesn't seem fair that such a horrible thing as to happen to me.

They checked me into the hospital right away. I was in there for five whole days. Something new happened everyday and I was so beyond scared. From spinal taps to MRIs I got it all. I wanted to cry every second of the day. There were even times I didn't even want to try anymore. After these steroids, was my lesion going to come back? Is this even worth it? The steroids made me depressed, sassy, and even made me gain weight. All this PLUS a new diagnosis? This was too much to take on. When I got home I thought to myself maybe everything will be alright. Until I woke up the next morning panicking because I think I'm having an episode. I knew that's how it would be the rest of my life. After a couple weeks, they decided to put me on Copaxone.

Whenever I asked a question, no one had an answer. I thought it was ridiculous I'm giving myself shots when they don't even know what's going to happen. I still think it's ridiculous. It has been five months since my diagnosis, but my feelings and attitude haven't gotten any better. I cry all the time, but I'm scared to let my parents see me. I'm tired of letting MS effect my life, but it will and there is nothing I can do about it. I'm a junior in high school and I have two more years until I have no one to help me with this. That scares me the most. Why me?