My Pace

by Lisa B

I’ve lived with my MS diagnosis since 1990. I’m currently 58 years old. My symptoms started when I was a teenager. Having a hard time with the heat, not being able to stay on the tennis court because I thought I was going to die. This was at age 15-16.

In my twenties, I had doctors appointments because of numbness, walking, etc... The diagnosis was the birth control pill I was on!

After I had my first daughter things seemed to be normal. Actually. my three pregnancies were the best times I ever felt! Then a weird thing happened, I lost vision in my left eye! So I’m now doing another round of doctors, what’s wrong with this young woman?

A spinal tap got to the answer, MS! Wow! It only took basically 15 years to figure this out. I had just thought this is my normal and lived my life. Ok, in a weird way I’m relieved. Better to know what your dealing with than think your crazy, right? I’ve went on to have two more children, started the drugs, my vision had come back. Life was busy and things were manageable.

Well, here I am at 58, wonderful husband, fabulous children, son in laws. I thank God every day for how blessed I am. Unfortunately, I’ve reached a breaking point. Can’t walk that great anymore, use a cane. My lesions are head and spine. Because of that I have a ostomy and get 30 shots of Botox in my bladder every 10 months, I have zero bladder control. I cath and live with UTI’s on a regular basis.

Ok. that’s my story. But, I’m writing this because I need family, friends and who is in my life to understand this. I will ask you when I need help! yes, I walk slower than everyone, but I will get from the car to the restaurant at my pace. I will carry the groceries in at my pace! I will walk into the store at my pace! I will ask for help when needed! It’s exercise to walk up and down steps at my pace!

Please help me stay independent, physically and mentally! If I need your arm to walk up or down steps, I’ll grab your arm. Do not grab my arm first! This MS thing is getting tougher with secondary progressive. I am finding I need to stay mentally tough, cause if I don’t, the physical part is gone.

I’m still thankful for the wonderful life God has given me. My husband, children, family and friends.

I hope this helps you understand. Xoxo