My Hot MeSs Life

I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) in 2008. After having experienced crazy symptoms since adolescence, I was ACTUALLY overjoyed that, FINALLY there was a name attached to what I had been experiencing for decades. Forget that what led to the diagnosis was optic neuritis, a disorder that led to temporary blindness in my left eye and that there was no guarantee that the subsequent round of steroids would restore my vision. All I knew was that I wasn’t a hypochondriac, depressed, or any of those other things that doctors eventually determined was the problem when all the tests given for symptoms came back negative for whatever they tested me.

I told you I wasn't depressed

While under the influence of all that joy at being able to look my primary care physician in the face and say, “I told you I wasn’t depressed,” I decided I was going to kick that diagnosis in the butt and take all that positivity I was feeling at the moment and become this superwoman example of how living with MS is not a death sentence to happiness.

The reality of my diagnosis kicked in

Looking back on that time, I realize my initial joy at diagnosis was pretty weird and unusual. I reason that I needed it for what was to come because as pain, fatigue, balance loss, and other MS symptoms began presenting themselves, it didn’t take long for that joy to fade. The optic neuritis was an exacerbation that signaled a major change in the disease progression; I began feeling the frustration and anger of being limited in my abilities as things kept changing - I still do. Because MS isn't my only health issue, I find myself struggling to determine what painful thing is attached to what.

Life is ever changing

Now 15 years later, I still feel like I'm in the discovery phase, but that is probably because, as it is with most maturing individuals, I've been through so much more than MS. Caretaking elderly parents until their subsequent passing, breast cancer, career changes - such is life. I've learned from my experiences with MS that like the related MS issues, life is ever changing and our best bet is to stay as vigilant about living it to its fullest as possible while we can in whatever way we can.