Living and Learning : A Valentine's Suprise unwanted

I was diagnosed on February 14,2012. What an unexpected thing to get on Valentine's day. I was informed that I have had MS 2 years or so prior to being diagnosed. For a couple years I had been experiencing some unsettling things such as massive headaches, blurred vision, right arm and leg pains and it felt as if someone was pouring acid on my muscles. I kept telling my family Dr of the issues I was having, and he kept saying that it was all due to me being overweight, so than my family dr sent me for a gastric bypass in 2010.

From that point on life only got much much worse. 16 operations in a year and 3 months, and then a few months go by and I dropped like a ton of bricks and started having seizures. So the hospital says it was just low blood sugar, and I knew better, I knew something was horribly wrong. So I kept advocating for my self, went back to the family Dr and he said there is no reason, they can not find anything wrong, and my Dr told me he thought I was begin a bit of a hypochondriac but if it made me feel better they would send me to see a neurologist but it was gonna take a month or so to get in due to fully booked. A week or so went by and all the sudden, I had trouble talking, my words were all backwards and not making any sense, my right leg started dragging, I would get so confused and forgetful, I thought I was going to die before anyone figured out what was really wrong. So once again I advocated for myself and I got an emergency appointment with a neurologist.

So much for being a hypochondriac, there it was, as plain as the nose on my face, Lesions, and a lot of them. I was terrified, horrified, broke down, and most of all heartbroken.

I went through so many emotions, denial, anger, hatred, bitterness, depression, and so the list goes on. This went on for a couple of months of trying to cope and move forward. Finally it took me hearing up front and personal that I needed to stop being so Mean and Spiteful and due something about it or I was going to have no one left and be alone.

From that day forward, I get up and make the best of what I have each day, knowing that tomorrow may be different. I have 2 wonderful children and with-in the last year, a boyfriend that I moved in with and he is a god sent from above. When I first met him, I told him not to get involved with me that I was broken, beat down, sick and no cure, hoping that he would just go away and not want to get involved with me and feel the hurt that I feel some days. But no, he was not going anywhere, he is still right here, helping with my shots, goes to all my Dr appointments and keeps me on my toes.

So if there is anything that I have learned through the MS process from then to now, is keep fighting and advocating your self, allow time to be angry and mad, but than plant your feet and rise above and fight through. Keep your thoughts and spirits and attitude up and you can conquer through.

I am a fighter and I am surviving with MS. Thank your family and friends and caregivers for sticking by you during a hard time for all involved.

Keep strong, stay focused and remain positive.