My Journey So Far

When i was diagnosed wit MS bout 18 years ago I didn't know anything about it and yes it scared me so I believe it went into remission . I kept on living life working hard evetyday, taking care f my boys at sametime and just bruhed it off and forgot bout it. . Until bout 5 years ago the MS flared up but I still kept trying and work my stressful job cause I tell everyone till this one day i say the Lord said u going to sit down and listen to me. So i had to stop working i really could walk to good without help. The Dr was like eventually u may never walk i said "Bet I Do". I would get assistance walking from others or i would stumble round the ground but i never stopped (Then i would have to buy a house wit stairs lol) every chance i got to walk i would i knew how far and long i could go down" I was so tired of hearing from family "Sit Down" "Be Still" but i was always a hard headed child i would move every chance i got to. i would go outside and walk around the neighborhood it would take awhile but i was proud i was walking it.

The one thing i hate is when people Do find out i have it they say they sorry runs right threw me then i will say Dont Be sorry im alive my boys are fine im here . My friends would say that was rude but i didnt think it was i know its compassion but i dont want that i aint dead yet. But i notice none of the people id say that to wouldnt get offended or mad they would say they understood alittle more that maybe people dont wanna hear that just hear good things or is just me .

And when i go to see my Doctor and he says "You looking Good" Im like good enough for a cure. we laugh if i didn't joke he know something was wrong so i always have a smile on my face and courteous everyone. And know one Really knows i have unless i tell them i know my limits. My family has got better wit me loosen the reigns alittle knowing im going to be alright if i dont think i can do it i wont (took me awhile to figure that out )

My youngest son i think he worrys more than anyone he always ask how im feeling,di i taje my meds> did i take my stot for the week like my dad. He did sit down and tell me Mom im going to worry i tell him and his brother and whomever i start dating i dont wanna be a burden on anyone go out wit friends, go out of state, just call , send a post card smething im not that selfish i want tem to live them come tel me stories

But i use to ask God y me y do i have to deal with this when my flares ups came alot and i had weeks stay in hospital . But now i see it has opened my eyes to my surroundings and showed me that i need to live life instead of worryng bout stuff all the time . I tell almost every one I Love The little things and U Only live once so im going to have a good time while im here.

Cause it is aggravating i do forget i ask same questions i already ask and my long term memory is gone but that's why i try to make memories for today and take them wit me till the next.