Multiple Sclerosis Doesn't Define ME

But it almost always defines: what I'm able to do (and how much of it), what I eat, my sleep habits, my mental health, and my relationships. It's stolen memories, energy, balance, a career, and what often feels like my freedom from me. In their place, MS has left me with brain fog and bruises that never seem to fade, fragments of relationships I can’t seem to piece together, and words I’ll never be able to find.

I am someone new now

I cannot be the person I once was; I look the same, which fools most people; sometimes, I even trick myself. But to be realistic- she is gone forever, something that I must accept daily. You never get used to the feeling that who you are/were/want to be is dead.

Moving forward

I’m working on celebrating what I can do without self-comparison. Even if that means only shooting a basketball at Dave & Buster’s, a closet with a lack of heels (but an abundance of high tops), and only knowing words to songs written before 2014.

I will continue to talk about MS

Another thing I can and will never stop doing is openly talking about Multiple Sclerosis. As a third-generation MS-er, I suspected my fate before my diagnosis. Unfortunately, too many people know nothing of this neurodegenerative disease, and too many people are being diagnosed.

I know now that I had sporadic MS symptoms from 7th grade until July 2018, when I was officially diagnosed. All of this still leaves me with the question- "why"?