My Story of How I Was Diagnosed

By legsonstrike

1 min read

I was working 3 jobs – 2 jobs as a surgical tech and the other was grooming dogs every weekend or during the week on my days off. I loved all of my jobs and was very active in sports and any other activity that piqued my interest. Started having weird feelings about 17 years ago – problems with my balance, dizziness, fatigue, slept all the time and ignored all of this until I had a complete total relapse that paralyzed me overnight.

I thought an MS diagnosis was a death sentence

In March 2012, had to learn to do everything for myself that took about a year. I was first told I had brain cancer, I had a stroke, I had a brain tumor, and then while in one hospital they transferred me to UNCCH WHERE I WAS FINALLY DIAGNOSED WITH MS AND I WAS SCARED TO DEATH. I THOUGHT IT WAS A DEATH SENTENCE BECAUSE NO ONE WOULD EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO MY BODY AND HAD TO HAVE MRIs very frequently until I got a final diagnosis about six months into this relapse.

I don't know how to accept this horrible disease

I was diagnosed with RRMS and progressively getting worse every day but I have no new lesions just new symptoms that don't seem to go away!! I am always frustrated with myself and others and have lost all my friends, kept a few, the others weren't friends to begin with!! My husband has stayed by my side since my diagnosis and has been so patient with me!! The hardest thing to accept is being disabled. I push myself beyond exhaustion for my granddaughter!! I want to keep her all the time but I'm just not able ? and I have a grandson due this month!! I just ordered a scooter to get out and about because I'm sick and tired of sitting in the house!! I just don't know how to make myself accept this horrible disease!! Please help???

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Christina Hegarty PT, DPT Member
<inline-mention user-id="4040649" username="legsonstrike"/> What a roller coaster you’ve been on! I’m sorry for all you’ve been though and are going through still. I think many others in the community can certainly relate to having difficulty accepting having MS. I thought I’d share some articles along the lines of acceptance that you may like reading: <a href='https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/accepting-truth' target='_blank'>https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/accepting-truth/</a> and <a href='https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/diagnosis-acceptance' target='_blank'>https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/diagnosis-acceptance/</a>. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story with us. We are glad you’re a part of our community, and we are here for you anytime! Well wishes, Christina, <a href='https://multiplesclerosis.net' target='_blank'>MultipleSclerosis.net</a> Team
1. legsonstrike Member
 Thank you for everything!! I am still waiting on my grandson to get here, shouldn't be much longer!! I went to my neuro today and things actually made sense but I've had a horrible day altogether! I have cried all day, big ugly cries and I feel foolish because I can't stop when I want to stop!! This just doesn't make any sense but I'm sure some day it will!!
Christina Hegarty PT, DPT Member
<inline-mention user-id="4040649" username="legsonstrike"/> What a roller coaster you’ve been on! I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through and are still going through. I think many community members will certainly be able to relate to having difficulty accepting their MS diagnosis. I thought I’d share a couple articles with you along the lines of acceptance, that you may like to read: <a href='https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/diagnosis-acceptance' target='_blank'>https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/diagnosis-acceptance/</a> and <a href='https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/accepting-truth' target='_blank'>https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/accepting-truth/</a>. Thank you for taking the time to share your story with us! We are glad you’re a part of our community, and we are here for you anytime. Well wishes, Christina, <a href='https://multiplesclerosis.net' target='_blank'>MultipleSclerosis.net</a> Team P.S. Congratulations on the soon arrival of another grand baby!
chong61 Member
Legsonstrike, I have had MS for over 20 years and I too felt like you do now when I finally got the diagnosis. The most scary part is the not knowing. You will learn how to cope and know your limitations. It is a disease that affects us all the same, but all different if that makes any sense. The best advice I can give you is to read and study only on legitimate MS web sites. I have now lived with pain daily for those 20 years, but I am thankful I can still live alone with a little help from my children. My husband of 58 years died. It is not easy but tell yourself you will keep on keeping on no matter what MS throws your way. If you would go on this site and read all the posts by Devin you will have a much better understanding and how to cope, he has a way with words that will make you understand a lot that I can't. No one will ever know what you will go through, but that is ok also. You have a lot of compassionate people on this web site that will help you understand. Be strong as you can and come to this community of people with MS, we will always help with advice and understanding. I truly care.
legsonstrike Member
I don't know how to respond to any of the comments people made but it says I have comments to read and I can only read one. Not sure how this works but thank you all for responding and helping me to cope with all the issues we have in a daily basis. You all are awesome!!
1. Shelby Comito Community Admin
 Hi <inline-mention user-id="4040649" username="legsonstrike"/> , thank you so much for commenting and I'm so sorry for the difficulty navigating our site! It may be easier to view and respond to the comments on your story by going to your story directly on our site (versus through email or profile notifications). You can click the following link to viewyour story here: <a href='https://multiplesclerosis.net/stories/coping-diagnosis' target='_blank'>https://multiplesclerosis.net/stories/coping-diagnosis/</a> Beneath your story, you will see others' comemnts and you should also see a little word under each comment that says "reply." Click on that and a text box opens up that allows you reply directly to that person's comment. Hope that helps going forward! - Shelby, <a href='https://multiplesclerosis.net' target='_blank'>MultipleSclerosis.net</a> Team Member
legsonstrike Member
Chong61: could you please tell me how to look up the things Devin posts on here, is love to read them!!
1. Shelby Comito Community Admin
 Hi <inline-mention user-id="4040649" username="legsonstrike"/> ! You can view all of the articles written specifically by Devin here: <a href='https://multiplesclerosis.net/author/dev71' target='_blank'>https://multiplesclerosis.net/author/dev71/</a> As you go through them, let us know which ones speak to you the most! - Shelby, <a href='https://multiplesclerosis.net' target='_blank'>MultipleSclerosis.net</a> Team Member
eggladym1 Member
I think it's hard for any of us to accept when we're diagnosed. Give yourself some time. Read up on MS as much as you can but in small doses as it can be overwhelming at first. Don't get discouraged. Not everyone with MS has the same experiences. What works for one may not work for others. Trial and error. You won't know until you try something. If it doesn't help, then you try something else until you find what works for you. It's a learning process that takes time. I was diagnosed in 2006 after 10 years of thinking I was losing my mind. I was glad to finally have an answer but the unknowns were very scary. I've read a lot and did my own research . After becoming allergic to 2 of the Disease Modifying Therapies, I'm not on anything. I'm still holding my own, thank goodness. But like everyone else, there are good days and bad days. Read, research, and breathe. You will be ok.
1. legsonstrike Member
 Thank you so much!!
f5hwo4 Member
Try thinking of all of the things that you have been able to do now that you are no longer working three jobs. You never would have spent the amount of time with your grand daughter that you have. Do you stop and watch the birds in the morning? Have you taken up any new hobbies? Getting out of your head this way will help you accept your new life. Potter
1. legsonstrike Member
 Thank you so much!!
contalita Member
Yessssssss☺! I found that buy savory the environment inside and out and also considering the timing of things and good, it's a short fast way to brighten your spirits or someone else's, another thing is there are so many opportunities to volunteer and there are some were you can set up a time when you feel up to it, two of my favorites is Habitat for Humanity & The Humane League, and did you know that many assisted living and nursing homes enjoy hand drawn and painted pictures to brighten their rooms and hallways, and; of course it can get you out of your own head but also to brighten someone else's world.