My Life of MS

I’ve had MS for over 18 years (2002). I just got married four months into a marriage. You’re still married I have a child. We have a happy marriage. I lost my eyesight but I got it back. My whole left side is numb. When I lived in Columbia, South Carolina I had a 4 doctor you tell me I ms. I didn’t wanna believe it. My first spinal tap yes only is three minutes said he didn’t numb me up. I didn’t like it but that's 18 years ago. I was working 12-hour shifts at the hospital and it was full-time. I was always tired but I love my job. I have a college education.

Impaired memory and cognition

The first five years of having MS was hard I found that over 24 lesions in my head. That was messing up my memory everything. We finally moved to Charlotte I found a good MS center and I still go to. Wonderful place great doctors and great nurses. When I was about late 30 I wanted another degree yes got it. My memory loss I suffer impaired cognitive function. I didn’t get a college degree I’m very proud of myself.

Hard for me to go on disability

Why am sharing my story because I just want someone to talk to me, too. I ended up in the hospital because of my memory I am a walking. I went to rehab, PT, and seeing a psychologist. I wasn’t ready to start working, will be put on disability. That was hard for me. Or see, I’m not able to drive by myself. Now that I’m in my 40s I just have to take it easy. I don’t like to be alone. What are used to work people made fun of me of my speech but I couldn’t remember words or what I was doing. It hurt but I haven’t done what I had but I didn’t want to cause I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. I lost friends.

MS does control my life

Now that I have slight dementia it’s not easy. My daughter is 16 years old and now she’s playing the role of helping her mother more. You don’t know what your life is until you realize something wrong. MS does control my life. One time I was driving by myself and I was going to work three years ago. It was 6:30 in the morning and I got into a car accident. It was my fault but I swear I passed out and I didn’t remember what I was doing. For me, I do not wanna drive myself because sometimes I can’t remember how to get home even though I have GPS I still get confused. Just going for a walk wears me out or doing yoga. But I do want to because I need to. When I go to the doctor I knew that test of walking in your vision and all that stuff just irritates me. We’re just explaining why you’re so tired and you don’t wanna be asked to take another pill to help with the tiredness.

When you find out you have MS your life changes

I cry more than I have ever done in my life. If you think it would bother me the most do you realize my past came back to me and it still hurts me every day. I know I’m just rambling but I try so hard. I know you’re gonna look at the story like what the hell but this is how I talk, when you find out you have MS your life changes. My favorite thing is when someone finds out you have it and they say but you don’t look like you have an MS. I don’t like to explain but I usually have to say you do you have to walk in my shoes to understand. I didn’t realize after 18 years of having it life change. Just walking to the bathroom or taking a shower we’re just doing anything wears you out.

Thank you for listening to my story. And yes I know I was rambling but it feels good to vent.