Those Times When MS Is Not Just There, but 'There'
You already know you have MS. I mean, it's always hovering about and there's just no way out or around it. There are times, however, it's as if MS really wants you to know it's there. For example, even with the weather...Be it hot or cold, when you just want to cool down with a soft drink and soak up some natural vitamin D, or bundle up and go for a brisk walk to get some fresh air, MS is likely going to be there. It will turn up your fatigue or spasticity, respectively, amongst other symptoms. Just as it will definitely be there when you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed about something.
Grief's impact on MS
Of late, for me, it was the emotional turmoil from the grief I felt due to the sudden loss of three family members in close succession that gave MS the green light to 'go ham', to be there.
Tragic and heartbreaking loss
My aunt passed unexpectedly on January 25th and my uncle, her husband of 55 years, (and my father's younger brother), who was incidentally hospitalized at the time, died two days later on the 27th - likely of a broken heart. Then my cousin, their firstborn, was hospitalized a few days prior to his parents' funeral to be treated for an intestinal infection.
We thought the only sad concern was that he 1.) took ill at all, but especially while in bereavement, and additionally, 2.) that he wouldn't be able to be in fellowship with his siblings and other family as his parents were laid to rest. That is until he contracted COVID, took a sudden turn for the worse, and died just two days after his parents' service. Three family deaths within such a short period and throughout it all, MS was there, there, there - without the decency to allow me the opportunity to even mourn in peace.
Worsening symptoms
MS is with me morning, noon and night, yet, during this period, it was 'there there'. My hands curled tighter, grew even more numb, and were cramped and achy. My legs became weaker and burned with more fury. I was even more fatigued, which didn't help of course. And cognitively, I'd just go in and out of getting myself together to shake the fogginess that I tried to hide. Three days after my cousin's transition, I had a seizure...and then another one a week later - on my birthday. **Sigh**
Looking back on my MS stress flare
Technically, when I say 'MS is not just there, but there' it's actually a flare-up which is a heightening of symptoms that, because of MS' unpredictably, can occur out of the blue, or can be triggered by factors such as weather or stress. They can last 24 hours to a week or so.
Without a doubt, this is why MS was there throughout my pain and grief. So while mourning, I had to employ my anti-flare tactics, to the best of my ability. I tried to get plenty of rest, meditated quietly reflecting on pleasant memories, listened to music, read, and took two Tylenol to settle my nerves. I miss my family immensely already, but I got through in spite of MS being there in the midst of such a difficult time.
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