Emerging From an MS Slump: My Journey to Feeling Better
Have you ever felt stuck in a rut with multiple sclerosis (MS), unable to gather the energy and motivation to take care of yourself?
While I’ve always managed to make it out of these ruts in the past, the last few years have been different. I had found myself in what I would call an "MS slump," an extra-long period of being stuck in a rut. I’m definitely in a much better place today than I was just a few months ago, as of my writing this, but I’m still not completely out of it.
Recognizing that I was even in a slump
My motivation to exercise, eat well, socialize, and do all the things I knew I should be doing to manage my MS had vanished. It took me so long to even see that I was in this rut, and once I did, it was a bit depressing. I knew what I needed to do to escape this trap; I had pulled myself out of similar slumps in the past. But this time, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t. I felt helpless. I was stuck.
How and when did I get here?
Looking back, it’s obvious where I first started falling off track: the COVID-19 pandemic. I’ve always been a creature of habit. Creating and following routines is one of the best ways I’ve found to manage my MS, but the pandemic turned that strategy against me. All the routines I relied on to stay on top of my MS and overall health were completely disrupted. Without realizing it, I had replaced them with unhealthy coping mechanisms that quickly became my new default.
Over time, the resulting “stress and damage” from me not taking care of myself slowly built up like credit card fees. These “fees” just kept growing until one day I maxed out my MS credit card and the bill came due. When the “MS tax” bill arrives, there isn’t too much you can do other than… pay for it. And I was paying for it.
Breaking point
At this point, I was feeling pretty terrible. Between my unchecked MS and my crumbling mental health, I finally hit a breaking point. This triggered one of the most severe, and longest, bouts of anxiety and depression I’ve ever had. I didn’t feel in control of anything: not my everyday life, my health, how I physically felt, how I mentally felt, or even my emotions. I only felt stuck. I finally accepted that it was time to do something about it.
Once I started calling around to find a psychiatrist, it didn’t take long to get an appointment and start receiving care. It took a while to see the results I wanted, but the difference was undeniable! Nights of anxiety-fueled insomnia followed by the weight of depression keeping me in bed the next morning started occurring less frequently. I could finally breathe!
Turning things around
At this point, I felt like I could now take on the mess that was my uncontrolled MS. For so long I couldn’t even decide where to start with this, but now I felt like I could see my life more clearly. I got in with a new neurologist, changed my DMT, and adjusted some of my other meds. To my surprise, my health started turning around almost immediately!
Of course, this was just one step in the right direction, one of many more I need to make in this journey. I don’t know how long it will take me to fully kick all the bad habits I’ve collected in recent years or to start feeling more like the me who had MS on a tight leash.
What I do know is that it’s crucial to keep moving forward. Whether it’s a huge step or a baby step, forward is forward. And in my book, any progress you can make is worth celebrating.
What about you?
Have you ever found yourself in an MS slump? How did you find your way out of it? Share your experiences and tips in the comments below. Don’t forget, no matter how small a step it may seem to be, progress is progress; forward is forward.
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