loved ones reactions
Hi everyone,
Telling family members and those that you love bad news is not something easy, or fun, to do. I haven't been diagnosed, I am having all the "fun" tests (evoked potentials, LP, etc) and my neurologist says that there is a strong possibility that I may have MS due to all the lesions on my brain and spine. I am waiting for the results of the other tests. My question is: have you been in the position of telling people that you may have MS and then they don't seem to react? I didn't want to tell anyone until I had a diagnoses, but then I realized that I needed support during all the numerous tests so I told someone that I love dearly and they didn't seem at all concerned. It makes me feel like those that I thought I might count on for support, I wont be able to. Am I being an utter brat by feeling a bit hurt? I felt a bit dismissed and wonder if I ever mattered at all to this person.
I'm so sorry that the person you confided in didn't seem concerned or willing to support you. That really hurts, especially when it's someone who we truly thought cared about us. I think your feelings are totally valid. I hope you find others who are willing to support and be there for you. You deserve that. - Michael, MS Team member
Sorry to hear you had that reaction
. You are definitely justified in feeling hurt! That said, some people don't know how to react. Perhaps they don't really understand the gravity of the situation? They may not have much of an understanding about MS or the tests. Or maybe something else was going on with them? You are right to be upset but you should ask them about it, explain how worried you are and ask why there aren't? I know I've experienced situations where some people can seem dismissive like that in order to not worry us more. Sometimes, I also think when it comes to major things like this, some people just don't know how to act, their mind even short circuits a bit because it's hard to really grasp what's happening. I do hope you find the support you need and remember that you always have our support here! Thank you for that, it does make me feel better. I think this person is not able to cope with it.
Hi Piggles. I wish this person had been more compassionate and supportive. In my own experience, I have learned that this can be a defense mechanism for some people, an instinctive need to protect themselves emotionally. They hold back because they are subconsciously afraid of the loss of control should they give in. This same person might react differently if you are actually diagnosed with MS. I know it seems unkind and unfair, but I wouldn't give up on that relationship just yet. Gentle hugs. - Lori (Team Member)
