Hi all, just hoping for some feedback for a reoccurring theme of my marriage. Husband of 12 years diagnosed with RMS and hashimotos, rather stable with minimal progression but does suffer from chronic pain/fatigue. Dx the year before we married. I feel as though I am quite supportive... I am constantly researching Dx, making Dr appts, managing his health, looking for autoimmune modalities and diets, etc. I manage 85% of the housework, 2 children and work full-time. I should mention that he works 40hrs/week as an electrician and at least an extra 5hrs/week on side jobs...comes home has NOTHING to give to family and blames it on the MS.
I feel unsupported by husband who sleeps 2+ hours each afternoon when he gets home from work, he is emotionally disengaged, doesn't help with kids homework (they both have learning disabilities and struggle), he doesn't take me out or show me affection and will not make quality time for marriage. I will say, he has always been emotionally immature but for the last 13 years I feel like he uses his MS as an excuse for everything, I feel like within the first 10 mins of meeting someone new they have to know that he had MS, like let's just wear a name tage that says "hello my name is: I have MS"!
I feel like he is constantly seeking pity. He doesn't spend time with us, he cannot conversate with us, he's never intimate BECAUSE OF THE MS! I apologize and hope not to offend anyone but I feel like he uses his diagnosis as a get out of jail free card or hallpass for poor behavior and lack of accountability. He makes awful comments even in front of the children that the stress I cause by calling him out on poor behavior "is kryptonite to his MS and he should just kill himself".
It all about your outlook and not allowing illness to consume you and make you bitter. Feeling sorry for yourself after this long is ugly = (
Ughhh I cannot believe I am typing this and honestly I do not know what I am even asking for. God bless, you are all amazing.