Grief has no time frame

Grief. Is such a powerful emotion, and is a powerful driving force. It cumulates and morphs and is unpredictable. There's no rhyme or reason to when grief rears up from the depths and becomes overwhelming. And absolutely anything can trigger that grief response once it's there.

I have lost so very much. I have a lot to be grateful and thankful for, but I'm acknowledging my losses tonight. I've lost dear friends in my formative years to accidents, suicide, and abuse. My brother passed unexpectedly at the age of 30 12 years ago, just before I met and fell in love with my husband. Since then, I've experienced several other significant losses, including my now husband's Mom and my own Dad.

And now, struggling with my own body. Still trying to figure out my world with the grief, navigating the universe with the new realities. It's hard.

There is no timeline for grief. There's no linear path. It goes in loops and zigs and zags. I find myself tearing up looking at news headlines, watching funny shows, seeing touching moments, struggling to put new linens on the bed.

There are no parameters for grief. We, at some point in our lives, start to grieve our personal losses as well as our collective losses. And all we can do is accept that we're grieving. And allow ourselves the space to grieve.

I'm not mad at myself for being sad. I just hate the tear response because I am a horrible crier and it makes me feel awful for a few days.

I've recently realized that some of the people around me are new to dealing with grief. And they're struggling with it. It's brought out my compassionate side, and I just want to help them get to a place where they feel safe.

I'm thinking a lot about the grief tonight, and trying to process these feelings in a positive way. So sending out much love to the universe tonight. 💜💜